14 of the best self-help books

The book: How To Do Everything And Be Happy by Peter Jones (not the man from Dragons' Den!)

The idea: Stop waiting for your dreams to come true and start planning.

*Write a wish list of ambitions, then pick the three that are most important to you. Break these down into smaller, achievable targets with a deadline.

*Keep a reminder of your goals in your wallet or record a message (on your phone or a dictaphone) and download it on to your MP3 player. Book a goal day in your diary every month to go over how you're getting on.

The book: The 10-Step Stress Solution by Neil Shah

The idea: If worries are keeping you awake at night, these strategies will help. *Breathe deeply: inhale slowly to the count of five, hold your breath for five to 10 seconds, then exhale slowly to the count of eight.

*Use self-hypnosis: Close your eyes and imagine yourself in beautiful surroundings. Focus on bringing it fully to life – the colours, scents, sounds – and stay there for at least five minutes. 

The book: The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane

The idea: To be charismatic you need to have presence, power and warmth – here’s how.

*To project power, inflate your chest and try to take up as much space as possible. Be still and don’t fidget.

*Cut out nodding and excessive agreeing. Speak slowly, pause for a second or two between each thought and lower your intonation at the end of sentences.

*Imagine you’re being hugged. Visualise your audience smiling at you as you speak. 

The book: The Digital Diet by Daniel Sieberg

The idea: Turning off gadgets will help you switch off mentally.

*Do a two-day devices detox – no mobile, email or internet.

*If you’re talking to someone look at them, not your screen. Call friends – or even better, see them – rather than emailing or messaging. 

The book: Fall In Love For Life by Barbara Cutie Cooper

The idea: Relationship advice from a woman who has been happily married for 73 years – and has ‘Cutie’ as a nickname!

*Always greet your love. Whether he’s coming back in from the garden or from a day at work, stop what you’re doing, look him in the eye and let him know how pleased you are to see him.

*When you feel yourself about to say something you might regret, distract yourself by singing a silly song to help you regain control. 

The book: Be A Free Range Human by Marianne Cantwell

The idea: If you’ve ever dreamed of working for yourself, now’s the time!

*If you knew you wouldn’t fail what you would choose to do? And don’t get caught up in the myth that that you need a big investment, a fancy website or a posh office to start a business.

*Reality check: Work out how many units of your product or service you’d need to sell to earn enough to live on each month. Is it possible?

*Test your idea for a week. Are people willing to pay for your product or service? Sites such as fiverr.com are useful testing places. This is also a good time to check you’d actually enjoy running your business.

The book: Getting Things Done by David Allen

The idea: If your to-do list is out of control, this effective system will sort it out.

*Put everything you need to deal with (work, household, fun) in your in-tray – if there’s no paperwork, write a note for it.

*Go through each item and bin or file anything that doesn’t need action, delegate where possible and deal immediately with anything that will take less than two minutes. Put everything else on an ‘actions’ list. Pop time-sensitive actions in your diary.

*For jobs with multiple parts, set up a project folder and put one task from it on your ‘actions’ list. Review the list daily. 

The Book: Loveability by Robert Holden

The idea: The key to finding lasting love is learning to accept yourself first.

*Spend 15 minutes looking in the mirror, saying ‘I love myself’ every few seconds – it will be hard, but persist.

*Finish the following sentence: ‘If I loved myself I would…’ Now act on it!

The book: Finding Your Way In A Wild New World by Martha Beck

The idea: Learning to use your gut instincts could help you make better choices – from the respected Oprah life coach.

*To shift into a more intuitive state, we need to switch off the rational part of our brain and enter a wordless state. Recall your favourite memory for each of the five senses (such as the sound of the sea from childhood holidays), then try holding all these sense memories in your mind at the same time.

*Rob words that upset you (such as fat or failure) of their power by endlessly repeating them until they become meaningless. IN

The book: The Power Of Less by Leo Babauta

The idea: When there are a thousand things demanding our attention, the secret to productivity is to focus only on the essentials.

*Choose three jobs each day that you must get done. Anything else is a bonus!

*Multi-tasking is a myth – each time you switch between activities, it takes a moment for your brain to catch up which slows you down. So concentrate on one thing at a time.

*Only check emails twice a day. Keep replies to five sentences. 

The book: The Courage Quotient by Dr Robert Biswas-Diener

The idea: Stop fear holding you back.

*Focus on the brave things you've already done: moved to a new city, brought up children, started a new job. Make a list of three courageous decisions you have made this week.

*Carry a lucky charm – research shows it improves performance. 

The book: The Edge by Michael Heppell

The idea: The most successful people (called Edgers in the book) do things differently and you can learn from their habits.

*Cultivate some Edger habits: get up early; have clean shoes; keep your phone charged; watch the news (but only once a day); schedule haircuts and dental appointments well in advance; put things away; keep receipts, minutes from meetings or lists; service things before they break rather than fix them when they do. 

The book: The Emotional Life Of Your Brain by Sharon Begley and Richard Davidson

The idea: Prolong moments of pleasure by paying them more attention.

*Three times a day – each time you eat if it helps you remember – quickly write down one of your best characteristics. Aim for a different one each time. Look back at your list regularly.

*Look out for opportunities to pay compliments more often. Look the person in the eye as you give it, then later write down the good feeling it gave you. 

The book: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

The idea: Stop fighting your feelings and you’ll be calmer and more content.

*Defuse negative thoughts by voicing them in a funny accent or like a cartoon character.

*Don’t be afraid of difficult emotions, see them for what they are: constantly changing sensations flowing through the body that can’t hurt you.