Children’s author, TV presenter and tech enthusiast Konnie Huq is married to Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker, and the couple have two sons, aged 11 and 13. As parents gear up for the new school year, she shares her own rules for tech-proofing her children.

‘The worrying thing for parents is that phones are becoming more and more omnipresent and, as a result, the age at which children are getting phones is younger and younger. Now, even primary schools have policies to do with mobile phones.

‘When kids are old enough to walk to and from school by themselves, it’s a really good thing for them to have a phone, just as a back-up safety mechanism. But along with the positives, there are a lot of negatives – so it’s really, really important to make sure that families have a good framework to work within.

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‘The days are gone when your phone was used just for chatting with friends like it was when I was young. Today, there’s a plethora of websites, chat rooms, social media platforms, content out there that can be accessed, and then streaming services as well – all of which can be watched on your smartphone. Your child’s phone isn’t really a phone nowadays – and this is a real worry for parents, who are trying to ensure that children don’t go mad with it. Here’s what I’ve learned really works, from my work as a parent ambassador for EE’s U-18s smartphone campaign – and parenting my own children…

Match the phone to the child
My eldest son is at secondary school, and in his school they do not allow smartphones. In fact, he hasn’t got a smartphone – and he hasn’t even asked for one… he has an old-fashioned brick phone. He’s not that into socialising and is happy with his own company. That’s not to say he isn’t tech-savvy, because he’s very into coding and computing – geekily so… following in his father and mother’s footsteps. My youngest is the opposite; he was asking for a smartphone as soon as he was out of nappies, and for his last year in primary school we got him one – with one very important difference (see below)…

Try going SIM-free.
When we gave our youngest a smartphone for year 6, we didn’t put a SIM card in it, which means that you have to connect to the WiFi to go online. Now he’s going into secondary, he has a brick phone with a SIM – and a smartphone at home, where he can use WhatsApp and make calls when he’s on the WiFi.

Know about social media.
Social media platforms are updating all the time, which makes them very hard to put down. It reminds me of when rolling news came out. Before we had 24/7 news, you just had a bulletin, and you’d catch up with the news of the day in that bulletin, within that designated time frame. But now, news is updated by the minute and you feel a need to check constantly and be up to date. It’s the same for social media platforms, which update all the time. Children often get FOMO – fear of missing out – if they don’t check constantly. And once the apps come on their phone, that’s when it can feel impossible to put the phone down. My younger son has a smartphone – but he doesn’t have Tiktok or Snapchat yet, so it’s not as addictive. His phone isn’t that different from his tablet or his laptop. There’s no compulsion to constantly check.

Don’t ban gaming – my sons socialise through it.
My youngest will be playing Roblox and chatting with friends that are also on Roblox at the same time – that fulfills the social side of things for him. Games are finite, whereas social media is ongoing. I do think the later children have access to social media platforms, the less the addiction takes hold.

Stay a step ahead.
If there’s something that your children are interested in, maybe find an app that you’re happy for them to get into. The problem comes when children start searching for their own stuff, based on what their friends do. That’s when it starts to become a bit more of a worry.

On laptops, do check their search history and do use restrictions.
That’s what we do. I’m an ambassador for EE’s Safer SIMs plans, which are designed with network-level website content control. It helps you stay on top of what apps they have on their phones.

Children want boundaries.
I talk to a lot of young people as part of my work on for EE. And what’s interesting is that some admitted that they were quite scared by their addiction to their phones. They actually liked the thought of having boundaries in place – and if everybody also has boundaries, then you don't feel like the only one.

Use the tools available to you.
The problem is that often we don’t know where to start in terms of managing screentime and phone time. With EE, you can book a 30-minute appointment with a consultant – a dedicated expert who provides support and practical guidance. You come up with a framework together, and agree on a contract - you can download the free P.H.O.N.E Contract from the EE website which you customise to set boundaries together. Hopefully this means that the child will feel some degree of involvement in decision making. Kids at that age want to feel valued and important and trusted.

Konnie Huq is parent ambassador for EE’s U18s smartphone campaign, which includes Safer SIMs and in-store online safety appointments,