Overwhelmed? Struggle to stay focused? Always late? ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) isn’t just found in children – rates of adult diagnoses are soaring.
ADHD is a lifelong condition, and symptoms can be worsened by menopause – yet women often go undiagnosed, says Dr James Kustow, a consultant psychiatrist and director of education at UKAAN, the UK Adult ADHD network.
‘I find it most helpful to think of ADHD as a disorder of regulation,’ he explains. ‘People with ADHD struggle to regulate attention, emotions, impulses – even sleep and energy levels. Women in their forties, who’ve coped until now, can find the loss of oestrogen at perimenopause – and the resulting dip in the reward and attention brain chemical, dopamine – make things unmanageable.’
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So how do you know if your scatterbrained tendencies are just you being human or a sign of something more? Here are seven surprising signs that may point to ADHD – and how to tell if it’s time to seek help.
You tend to procrastate
You’ve known about that report deadline for weeks. So why are you only starting it the night before, fuelled by coffee and dread?
‘Procrastination is the hallmark of adult ADHD,’ says Dr Kustow. ‘It’s tied to issues with executive functioning – planning, prioritising, starting and completing tasks.’ You might not know where to start, or find boring tasks almost physically painful. Procrastination can drive stress and anxiety: both commonplace in ADHD.
You're chronically late
You meant to leave in plenty of time, but somehow you’re running 20 minutes late. Again.
Contrary to what many people think, chronic lateness in ADHD isn’t about being rude or inconsiderate. For many, it’s down to dysregulated time perception – with difficulty tracking and managing time. ‘People may underestimate how long things will take, or completely lose track of time when distracted,’ says Dr Kustow. They may also struggle to stop doing an activity and move on.
Research links ADHD with disruptions in brain regions that govern our sense of time. Dr Kustow suggests adding a 50% buffer to your estimated journey and setting two reminders at five and 15 minutes before you need to leave. ‘Preparation is key,’ he adds. ‘Pack your gym bag the night before. Keep your keys in one place.’
You're impressively bendy
It may sound crazy, but extreme joint laxity – known as hypermobility – is linked to ADHD. Research by Dr Jessica Eccles in 2022 found that about half of adults with ADHD are hypermobile.
Dr Kustow has studied this connection extensively. ‘It’s a body-brain link that’s been hiding in plain sight,’ he says. Of course, just being a bit bendy doesn’t mean you have ADHD. But if it comes with other features, it’s worth exploring.
You feel emotionally 'too much'
Angry over small things? Crying at insurance ads? ADHD is strongly linked to emotional dysregulation. ‘Moods can be intense and changeable,’ says Dr Kustow. ‘And many adults with ADHD are exquisitely sensitive to rejection or criticism, real or perceived.’
If you find yourself in a spiral after being left out of a group message or feel deep shame after minor conflicts, it could be a sign. This hyper-sensitivity to rejection, which needs more research, is referred to as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and often goes undiagnosed.
A racing mind keeps you awake at night
You’re shattered, but your brain is rehashing a chat from 2009 while planning a business you’ll never start. Welcome to ADHD insomnia.
‘Ceaseless mental activity, typical in ADHD, often impacts the ability to shut down and sleep,’ says Dr Kustow. There are a host of other sleep-related problems linked to ADHD, including sleep apnoea.
Poor sleep makes ADHD symptoms worse, creating a vicious cycle. Dr Kustow recommends a consistent sleep-wake times, regular exercise and exposure to natural light after waking to reset your body clock.
You losing things. Constantly.
Keys, wallet, phone, charger – you name it… ADHD absentmindedness isn’t just occasional flakiness; it’s a repeated pattern that causes real chaos: missed appointments, forgotten ingredients (no, of course you didn’t bring a shopping list), daily panics and a lot of swearing.
It’s linked to deficits of working memory, which is the ability to hold and use information in the moment. A messy house (common in ADHD) only adds to the confusion.
Dr Kustow suggests drop zones for essential itmes, the use of notifications, and regular decluttering. But if you still feel overwhelmed by everyday life, it might be time to consider an assessment.
You feel that nothing ever seems to last
The dream job? Eighteen months. The big love? Two years. New Year’s Resolutions? Dead by 5 January. ‘With ADHD, people live in the moment and aren’t good at maintaining momentum toward distant goals,’ says Dr Kustow.
This can lead to stress, low self-esteem and unfinished projects. ‘Over a lifetime, this chaos can severely harm people’s confidence,’ he says.
So when’s it normal – and when’s it ADHD?
Everyone shows some ADHD traits sometimes. ‘It’s a spectrum,’ says Dr Kustow. But if several of these signs have been present for as long as you can remember and are interfering with your work, relationships or wellbeing, it’s worth speaking to a medical professional.
Speak to your GP, but be aware that waiting lists for an NHS assessment can be years long. Private assessments are also an option. In the meantime, Dr Kustow’s book, How To Thrive With Adult ADHD, offers practical ways to manage symptoms and feel more in control.
‘It’s never too late to get a diagnosis or treatment,’ he says. ‘It can change your life for the better at any age.’
